Look, Copy, and Learn

I have honestly enjoyed watching my youngest daughter morph into a junior high student. She comes home daily with tales to tell and stories to recount. She speaks of other girls, funny teachers, grumpy moments, silly decisions, sport mishaps, school triumphs, sleepovers, and much, much more. Sometimes I grow impatient by her detailed account of every word, step, breath, and giggle, but I understand that I’m lucky to be “in the know” with what’s happening in her little world. Along with all the info, I also get my share of requests; requests for clothes, tickets, rides, and accessories… She wants to keep up with all her newfound friends in school.

She recently requested some new jeans, not because hers don’t fit, but because they aren’t in style. I questioned her about EXACTLY what she was wanting and she quickly said “Miss Me jeans”. She explained that they are expensive jeans that have embellished pockets and thick stitching, “but”, she added, “I’m sure we can get them on sale, or find something that looks similar”. We had a nice conversation about status and materialism. I was pleased to learn that my daughter did not expect me to spend $100 on a single pair of jeans, nor would she spend it if she were to use her own money. But, she knew what she wanted based on her friend’s choices.

And, that got me thinking…don’t we all “try-on” other personalities and follow other people’s leads to be able to determine our own courses of action? Don’t we have to copy what other people do to figure out if it “fits” us? I mean, how do you know you don’t like to run until you run? I’ve copied friends’ habits, I’ve shopped at "their" stores, tried out "their" laughs, and worn outfits similar to those in "their" closets. I’ve read their books, borrowed their phrases, claimed their recipes, and matched their nail polish (I do wear polish occasionally). Many of my decorating ideas have come from mimicking things I’ve seen in other people’s homes. Sometimes those copies become part of my person and sometimes they just don’t. I remember buying a gorgeous red dress for a holiday party because my friend (who worked elsewhere) bought one and LOVED it…well, I felt uncomfortable all night and never wore that dress again. I also remember buying pajama nighties because my friend beamed about how comfy they were. I ended up taking them all back because they just weren't "me" (I didn’t take back the one I slept in…just so you know). We all copy each other. We start at birth.

Well, I ended up getting my little one a couple great new pairs of jeans, and she is relishing in her new found sense of style!

Margaret