Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
We're All "...Like That"
You might not believe this, but I’m a talker. I talk a lot, to a lot of people. Last weekend, I struck up a conversation with a woman sitting next to me at a sporting event; and I’m still thinking about that conversation. She was a nurse. When I told her that I was a speech language pathologist, she commented “Oh, I could never work with ‘kids like that’”. What? “Kids like that”? What did she mean? I think she meant it as a compliment to me, but I must have looked at her funny, because she got up to use the bathroom and didn’t come back. I’ve been thinking about what I wish I would have said to her.
I wish I would have said in an honest, non-judgmental, teaching kind of way, that “kids like that” are just regular kids. They have mothers and fathers who love them. They eat the same kinds of food as their peers. “Kid’s like that” play, cry, smile, laugh, sleep, and love. They learn to roll over, crawl, cruise and walk, as they are able. They learn to communicate their wants and needs and play and interact with those around them. “Kids like that” might learn to do these skills differently than other kids, but they’re just as meaningful.
I think the woman meant to say that she was uncomfortable with people who are different than she is; people who require special needs. But isn’t that every single person? Isn’t each of us different from each other, and require our own set of special needs? I have a child who has a disorder that requires me to make different food for him…I also have a perfectly healthy child who is such a picky eater that I’m often making a PB&J sandwich for him at suppertime. What’s the difference? Don’t we all come from somewhat dysfunctional families with skeletons in our closets? We’re all “…like that”.
“Kids like that” might walk, talk, look or act differently than we do, but so what? Sometimes I walk, talk, look, and act differently than the people surrounding me. Maybe “kids like that” are really intended to teach the rest of us about respect and acceptance. I don't know anyone who has a physical difference that sits and judges others the way that they are judged! Everyone is different. Everyone has special needs. Everyone is worthy of love, acceptance and a fulfilling life. If we can remember that there is a person behind all those differences, and focus on getting to know that person, we might meet someone we like. And, if we aren't able to see that person, then maybe we don't deserve that friendship anyway.
It's simple; everybody needs to be loved for exactly who they are. Let's spread the love.
Margaret
I wish I would have said in an honest, non-judgmental, teaching kind of way, that “kids like that” are just regular kids. They have mothers and fathers who love them. They eat the same kinds of food as their peers. “Kid’s like that” play, cry, smile, laugh, sleep, and love. They learn to roll over, crawl, cruise and walk, as they are able. They learn to communicate their wants and needs and play and interact with those around them. “Kids like that” might learn to do these skills differently than other kids, but they’re just as meaningful.
I think the woman meant to say that she was uncomfortable with people who are different than she is; people who require special needs. But isn’t that every single person? Isn’t each of us different from each other, and require our own set of special needs? I have a child who has a disorder that requires me to make different food for him…I also have a perfectly healthy child who is such a picky eater that I’m often making a PB&J sandwich for him at suppertime. What’s the difference? Don’t we all come from somewhat dysfunctional families with skeletons in our closets? We’re all “…like that”.
“Kids like that” might walk, talk, look or act differently than we do, but so what? Sometimes I walk, talk, look, and act differently than the people surrounding me. Maybe “kids like that” are really intended to teach the rest of us about respect and acceptance. I don't know anyone who has a physical difference that sits and judges others the way that they are judged! Everyone is different. Everyone has special needs. Everyone is worthy of love, acceptance and a fulfilling life. If we can remember that there is a person behind all those differences, and focus on getting to know that person, we might meet someone we like. And, if we aren't able to see that person, then maybe we don't deserve that friendship anyway.
It's simple; everybody needs to be loved for exactly who they are. Let's spread the love.
Margaret
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Enough is Enough is Enough..
Will there ever come a time when “enough” is all I crave? I find that I am always looking, searching, striving, believing, expecting, and desiring more. I want a bigger house, more money, new shoes, and a trip to NYC. I need more time, more counter space, more financial security, and more sleep. I want to learn to play piano, speak Spanish, tend a garden, and pole vault. I’m always looking for more. I want to be content with what I have, but for some reason, I keep striving for more.
I already have a lot to be thankful for. I have a happy, healthy family, a good job, a reliable car, food on the table, a funny husband (but don’t tell him I said that), girlfriends, and great memories. People call me on my birthday, I have friends to eat lunch with, and I always find a smiling, welcoming face in the crowd at ballgames. I get to take little trips, am organized, enjoy other people, can afford to go to the movies, and live in a nice house. I have everything I need and most of the things I want. Yet, I still find opportunities to complain and I’m absolutely inadequate at expressing my thankfulness for what I have.
I know what I have, but I don’t think I really appreciate it. I want to learn to balance what is important for me, to know what matters. I want to learn perspective. I want to continue to grow and to become a stronger, more reliable person, but not with things or with pressures. I just want to “be”, and be content with that.
My goal is to become the kind of person who is perfectly happy with who I am and where I am in life. I want to find joy in whatever I’m doing and with whomever I’m spending time. I want to speak kindly and patiently with others. I want to smile more and grumble less. I want to matter, but especially want others to know that they matter. I want my children to remember a happy, humble, gentle mother. I want my friends to feel appreciated, to know they are important to me. I will make time to touch base with the people in my life. I will mend any broken fences. I will write and send thank you cards, not just think about doing it. I will pray more for other people instead of for myself. I will enjoy what I’m doing when I’m doing it. I will roll with what life throws at me. I will focus on what I need. I will find balance in my life.
These are my goals, I know it will take time to achieve them all, but I’m starting now!
Margaret
I already have a lot to be thankful for. I have a happy, healthy family, a good job, a reliable car, food on the table, a funny husband (but don’t tell him I said that), girlfriends, and great memories. People call me on my birthday, I have friends to eat lunch with, and I always find a smiling, welcoming face in the crowd at ballgames. I get to take little trips, am organized, enjoy other people, can afford to go to the movies, and live in a nice house. I have everything I need and most of the things I want. Yet, I still find opportunities to complain and I’m absolutely inadequate at expressing my thankfulness for what I have.
I know what I have, but I don’t think I really appreciate it. I want to learn to balance what is important for me, to know what matters. I want to learn perspective. I want to continue to grow and to become a stronger, more reliable person, but not with things or with pressures. I just want to “be”, and be content with that.
My goal is to become the kind of person who is perfectly happy with who I am and where I am in life. I want to find joy in whatever I’m doing and with whomever I’m spending time. I want to speak kindly and patiently with others. I want to smile more and grumble less. I want to matter, but especially want others to know that they matter. I want my children to remember a happy, humble, gentle mother. I want my friends to feel appreciated, to know they are important to me. I will make time to touch base with the people in my life. I will mend any broken fences. I will write and send thank you cards, not just think about doing it. I will pray more for other people instead of for myself. I will enjoy what I’m doing when I’m doing it. I will roll with what life throws at me. I will focus on what I need. I will find balance in my life.
These are my goals, I know it will take time to achieve them all, but I’m starting now!
Margaret
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Full of Greatness
Football season is upon us, and although I’m not the biggest fan, I do love a good game. My husband, on the other hand, is a die-hard football guy. He has attended KSU football games every year for the past 30 years; I have attended a handful. Even though our love and knowledge of the game vary, we easily agree that Bill Snyder is a great football coach. He’s great because he created success based on the strengths of his team. He didn’t focus on being a great coach; he focused on coaching his team into playing great football. It wasn’t about Bill Snyder, it was about the game.
I believe all of us are great at something. Like Bill, it can't be about us, it has to be about what we're doing...
Some of us are great parents. We are able to accept our children “as is”. We love them and nurture them and celebrate them for exactly who they are and for what they love to do, period. We don’t worry that our child isn’t fast enough, or smart enough, or exciting enough; we simply love and support who our child is and we’re fascinated to learn who they will become.
Some of us are great teachers. We are able to reach our students, not through our teaching style, but through their learning styles. We know that our classrooms are full of all different kinds of kids and families and experiences and attitudes and values. We teach to them, we don’t judge them. We appreciate our students and we want the best for all of them, equally.
Some of us are great artists. We draw and create, not what we see, but what we feel. We are true to ourselves and trust our instincts.
Some of us are great listeners. We know the difference between what is said and what is meant. We understand that hearing is not the same as listening.
Some of us are great musicians. We don’t just play the notes, we live the music.
Some of us are great therapists. We are able to build people up from wherever they are, moving forward a little at a time. We help people find themselves, find their confidence, and find their strengths. We believe, even celebrate, their success.
Some of us are great speakers. We are successful at motivating others to step out of their comfort zones and into life. We understand the importance of setting goals and reaching for stars.
Some of us are great students. We know that behavior, attitude, and work-ethic are learned. We are students of everything, constantly studying to better ourselves.
Some of us are great spouses, friends, workers, leaders, organizers, creators, builders, believers…etc. We all are full of greatness. We just have to move out of the way and let it shine through.
Margaret
I believe all of us are great at something. Like Bill, it can't be about us, it has to be about what we're doing...
Some of us are great parents. We are able to accept our children “as is”. We love them and nurture them and celebrate them for exactly who they are and for what they love to do, period. We don’t worry that our child isn’t fast enough, or smart enough, or exciting enough; we simply love and support who our child is and we’re fascinated to learn who they will become.
Some of us are great teachers. We are able to reach our students, not through our teaching style, but through their learning styles. We know that our classrooms are full of all different kinds of kids and families and experiences and attitudes and values. We teach to them, we don’t judge them. We appreciate our students and we want the best for all of them, equally.
Some of us are great artists. We draw and create, not what we see, but what we feel. We are true to ourselves and trust our instincts.
Some of us are great listeners. We know the difference between what is said and what is meant. We understand that hearing is not the same as listening.
Some of us are great musicians. We don’t just play the notes, we live the music.
Some of us are great therapists. We are able to build people up from wherever they are, moving forward a little at a time. We help people find themselves, find their confidence, and find their strengths. We believe, even celebrate, their success.
Some of us are great speakers. We are successful at motivating others to step out of their comfort zones and into life. We understand the importance of setting goals and reaching for stars.
Some of us are great students. We know that behavior, attitude, and work-ethic are learned. We are students of everything, constantly studying to better ourselves.
Some of us are great spouses, friends, workers, leaders, organizers, creators, builders, believers…etc. We all are full of greatness. We just have to move out of the way and let it shine through.
Margaret
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