Little House in the City

Sometimes I wonder…If my house was bigger, more updated, or more unique, would I be more content with it? I wonder this because, as many of you know, I’m not really crazy about my house. I knew I didn’t love it when I signed my name on the purchase agreement, so I have no one to blame but myself. I think my house is “nice”, its “cute”, its “adequate”, its “comfortable”, and its “cozy”; but it isn’t “me”. Will it become “me” with time? Will I grow to love it?

There are things about my house that I do love: I love the kitchen, the wall colors, and the spa tub (in the basement). I love the lake, and the big back deck. But, the house I live in is similar to so many other houses, and I’ve never been similar to others...does living in a cookie-cutter house make me a cookie-cutter person? Does that fact that I settled on a house mean that I’ve settled as a person? What other things will I be willing to settle on?

Why did I buy this house, you might be wondering, and why don’t I just move again? Those are questions I won’t delve into right now, but I will say that my reasons are valid. The fact is that I did buy it and now I have to live with that decision.

So, would I be more content with my house if it were bigger, updated, and more unique? Maybe I would, but I wouldn’t have spent so much time thinking about it, and that is what has helped me learn a few things. I now know that, for me, a bigger house simply means watching TV in a bigger room. I think I’d be doing the same things regardless of the size of my house, and I’m doing the things I love. Aside from eating in a formal dining room, my house accommodates everything I love to do in it. I feel blessed to have this priority in place. I have also learned that, no matter how updated my house might have been when I bought it, there would still be many things I’d want to change in it. Upgrades would mean nothing if the final product didn’t reflect my personal tastes. I’m lucky to get to decide for myself what upgrades to make, and when. Finally, I have learned that my house might look similar to other houses on the outside, but if I can make it “my” house, the feeling on the inside will be like no other. It’s the way you feel about something that makes it unique.

I know why I bought this little house, even though I didn’t love it. And now, after many hours of reflections, I have even more reasons to like it. I’m over 40, and it’s taken all this time and a special little house to make me really understand that it’s not what you have that matters, it’s how you feel about what you have that matters.

Margaret