Most of you know I wrote a book called “Everybody Has Something”…it’s a celebration of individualism and its purpose is to introduce children to diversity, to nurture self-esteem, and to promote acceptance of all people. I’m beginning to think I should write a similar book for adults.
What is it about the word “gay” that brings out the crazy in people? Gay people are people, just like you and I are people. Yes, their sex life is slightly different, but come on; does anyone really care what anyone else is doing behind closed doors? It seems they only care if the people behind those doors are same sex partners. Gay love is love, just like you and I experience love. If it were to be legalized, gay marriage would be marriage, just as binding and sacred as heterosexual marriage. I know that my views on this may not be the same as your views, and that’s OK. We each should be free to feel and think the way we feel and think.
But, the thing is, some people really want other people to feel and think like they feel and think, and they try to push their personal beliefs onto others. That’s why we’re still talking about gay marriage…and breast feeding, and parenting, and co-sleeping, and abortion, and…etc. It’s really difficult for some people to accept that there is more than one “right” way. The world is not black and white, but rather a hundred shades of gray (ummm…no, not quite like the book!)
It used to be wrong for people of different races to marry, it isn’t anymore. It used to be wrong for people of different religions to marry, it isn’t anymore. It used to be wrong for people of different socio-economic status’s to marry, it isn’t anymore. And I believe the same will be true for same-sex marriage in the near future.
Until then, let’s just let people be themselves. Let’s celebrate that we each are different and unique and beautiful and perfect. Let’s build people up, instead of tear anyone down, and let’s accept each other for who we are; without judgment or conditions.
If you want to ignore the controversy and avoid confrontation, then feel free to do so; if you want to stand up for something you believe is right, then stand up! If you want to eat Chik-fil-A, eat it; if you want to boycott, boycott; if you want to order water to make a point, then make the point. And be accepting of what others do, or don’t do, too.
Margaret
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Finding Easter Sunday...
It’s Easter Sunday evening. My house is strewn with candy wrappers, colored grass, and snack debris. The kids are in bed, I’m cozy in my pajamas, and the weekend is over. It was a good weekend; good enough to not be looking forward to an 8:00 appointment in the morning!
This morning I woke up a little earlier than I do most weekends. I expected to find my youngest, Max, hunting for his eggs; but it was my sleep-as-late-as-possible Madeline who was wondering the house (we’re inside egg hunters). She had wake-up hair and sleepy eyes and couldn’t stand the anticipation of Easter morning. It wasn’t long before all three of her siblings joined her in giving clues and laughing about hidden treasures. We don’t go crazy with eggs and gifts on Easter. The kids get a few dollars in a few plastic eggs, a new toothbrush, hairbrush, mechanical pencils and other little gifts in their basket, but we focus more on “the reason for the season”, our risen Lord. We honor our Catholic traditions, the end of Lent and focus on personal growth of some sort.
This Easter morning we dressed up in “nicer than normal” church attire and attended Mass as a family. Typically we head home, to Harper or KC, but this year we didn't. We cooked a big hearty breakfast and ate at the table. We talked, and laughed, and hung out together. Today we all stayed home. The kids played with each other, as they don’t always have time (or desire) to do. We went for a drive, and the roads were clear, the stores were closed, and there was no line at Sonic during Happy Hour! And it got me thinking…
Even though our nation strides to keep prayer out of schools and God out of politics, we still honor our faithful traditions. Stores were closed today, many schools were off last week for Good Friday; you can’t tell me they were celebrating a bunny rabbit bringing eggs and candy? They were honoring Faith, in some form, consciously or not.
Now I’m not naive enough to believe that my views of Easter are the only views…I understand that Easter and bunnies and eggs all have to do with new life and new birth and new growth. I know about the Pagan goddess Eastre. I grasp that my Christian beliefs have roots in the Jewish springtime holiday of Passover (the Hebrew word for Passover, Pasch, is synonymous with Easter in Europe). Easter is celebrated near the spring equinox, another celebration of growth and birth. Easter is engulfed by both pagan, Christian, Jewish and possibly other traditions and beliefs, but all those things are tied to some form of faith.
I believe stores were closed today and kids were out of school last week to honor Easter. And honoring Easter is honoring faith; even if it’s hidden in a bunny and eggs and candy. Happy Easter!
Margaret
This morning I woke up a little earlier than I do most weekends. I expected to find my youngest, Max, hunting for his eggs; but it was my sleep-as-late-as-possible Madeline who was wondering the house (we’re inside egg hunters). She had wake-up hair and sleepy eyes and couldn’t stand the anticipation of Easter morning. It wasn’t long before all three of her siblings joined her in giving clues and laughing about hidden treasures. We don’t go crazy with eggs and gifts on Easter. The kids get a few dollars in a few plastic eggs, a new toothbrush, hairbrush, mechanical pencils and other little gifts in their basket, but we focus more on “the reason for the season”, our risen Lord. We honor our Catholic traditions, the end of Lent and focus on personal growth of some sort.
This Easter morning we dressed up in “nicer than normal” church attire and attended Mass as a family. Typically we head home, to Harper or KC, but this year we didn't. We cooked a big hearty breakfast and ate at the table. We talked, and laughed, and hung out together. Today we all stayed home. The kids played with each other, as they don’t always have time (or desire) to do. We went for a drive, and the roads were clear, the stores were closed, and there was no line at Sonic during Happy Hour! And it got me thinking…
Even though our nation strides to keep prayer out of schools and God out of politics, we still honor our faithful traditions. Stores were closed today, many schools were off last week for Good Friday; you can’t tell me they were celebrating a bunny rabbit bringing eggs and candy? They were honoring Faith, in some form, consciously or not.
Now I’m not naive enough to believe that my views of Easter are the only views…I understand that Easter and bunnies and eggs all have to do with new life and new birth and new growth. I know about the Pagan goddess Eastre. I grasp that my Christian beliefs have roots in the Jewish springtime holiday of Passover (the Hebrew word for Passover, Pasch, is synonymous with Easter in Europe). Easter is celebrated near the spring equinox, another celebration of growth and birth. Easter is engulfed by both pagan, Christian, Jewish and possibly other traditions and beliefs, but all those things are tied to some form of faith.
I believe stores were closed today and kids were out of school last week to honor Easter. And honoring Easter is honoring faith; even if it’s hidden in a bunny and eggs and candy. Happy Easter!
Margaret
Friday, February 24, 2012
We Are Mothers of Kids in Sports
We’re a group of friends forced on each other by schedules and circumstance. We migrate from fields to gyms to courts and back again, season after season. We huddle on bleachers, share blankets and snacks, and cheer each other on to victories in games and in life. We are the mothers of kids in sports.
It starts early with missing teeth and tee-ball. We celebrate by taking pictures, baking cookies, and telling stories. We trade advice, books, discipline strategies, and coupons. We plan play dates, compare babysitters and organize parties. We’re careful to include all the kids, so no feelings get hurt. We start out making small talk and end up writing novels; and inviting new friends to dinner.
The season changes...
It continues with growth spurts and basketball. We celebrate great passes, made free-throws, and soaring three-pointers. Occasionally we sign casts. There are new faces on the bleachers, new ideas, new energy, and new conversations. We learn about hobbies and passions and families. We vow to shop, do lunch, exercise, or meditate; some do, some never do, but we all meet back on the bleachers next game. We’re moms, we’re there.
The season changes and someone gets dropped, another joins a traveling team, and another looks for a different coach. We are separated by our kids; by choice and by chance.
It continues with try-outs. Some compare who made what team, who the coach likes best, who’s playing more minutes, who’s playing least. Feelings get hurt, for real and imagined reasons, and there is distance in the bleachers. Kids are judged, games are filmed, and uniforms are washed. Genuine hugs are replaced by polite waves and occasional rude comments. Whispering is everywhere. One kiddos success is over shadowed by another’s playing time. It’s a crazy, confusing place. Why can’t we honestly celebrate each others successes without comparisons? Any friend will support you when your life sucks – but real friends support you when your life is awesome!
The season changes. New friendships are formed by schedules and circumstance. We are mothers of kids in sports.
Margaret
It starts early with missing teeth and tee-ball. We celebrate by taking pictures, baking cookies, and telling stories. We trade advice, books, discipline strategies, and coupons. We plan play dates, compare babysitters and organize parties. We’re careful to include all the kids, so no feelings get hurt. We start out making small talk and end up writing novels; and inviting new friends to dinner.
The season changes...
It continues with growth spurts and basketball. We celebrate great passes, made free-throws, and soaring three-pointers. Occasionally we sign casts. There are new faces on the bleachers, new ideas, new energy, and new conversations. We learn about hobbies and passions and families. We vow to shop, do lunch, exercise, or meditate; some do, some never do, but we all meet back on the bleachers next game. We’re moms, we’re there.
The season changes and someone gets dropped, another joins a traveling team, and another looks for a different coach. We are separated by our kids; by choice and by chance.
It continues with try-outs. Some compare who made what team, who the coach likes best, who’s playing more minutes, who’s playing least. Feelings get hurt, for real and imagined reasons, and there is distance in the bleachers. Kids are judged, games are filmed, and uniforms are washed. Genuine hugs are replaced by polite waves and occasional rude comments. Whispering is everywhere. One kiddos success is over shadowed by another’s playing time. It’s a crazy, confusing place. Why can’t we honestly celebrate each others successes without comparisons? Any friend will support you when your life sucks – but real friends support you when your life is awesome!
The season changes. New friendships are formed by schedules and circumstance. We are mothers of kids in sports.
Margaret
Thursday, December 29, 2011
2012 Inspirations...
Are you ready for the New Year? I'm getting ready. I don’t know about you, but I always have a list of things to start on January 1st. I don’t really understand why I wait until January 1st, I mean every morning is a new beginning, I could just as easily pick a Thursday and get going…but I don’t, I wait. And, while I’m waiting I take advantage of the last few days of not doing whatever it is I’m waiting to begin. Seriously, I’ve had ice-cream every single night since Christmas…because I’m waiting ‘till New Year’s Day to eat healthier. It makes no sense, but I know I’m not the only one!
Since I don’t really like the word “resolution”, I make New Year’s “inspirations”. Some of them are universal, like losing weight, eating healthier, exercising more...etc. But, I have a few others on my list that I’ll invite you to do with me.
In 2012 I will:
1. …find the good. I will find the good in people, in situations, at work, in the news, and in myself. I will choose to focus on the good; and there is always good to be found.
2. …say only (or at least mostly) nice things. My grandma once told me that every word I said should be a gift to whomever I said it. I will work to accomplish that task. Of course, I’ll allow myself brief periods to vent to my hubby and a few close friends, but not too often.
3. …spend time with people I enjoy, who also enjoy me. I’ve been hanging on to some friendships that aren’t healthy and it’s time to let them go. I will spend time with happy people, people who like themselves, who inspire me, who like to laugh, and who let me be myself. Goodbye to negative friendships!
4. …be honest. I will be honest with myself about everything; including money, calories, sex, exercise, time commitments, and emotions.
5. …really experience what happens in my life. I only get to live once, so I want to soak it all up, the good and bad, the happy and sad; I will acknowledge it, feel it, learn from it, and own it!
I’m sure I’ll come up with a few other inspirations to add to the list, but I think I have a pretty good start. And, come Sunday, I’ll be ready to go. Right now though, I need to dish up some ice-cream – yum!
Margaret
Since I don’t really like the word “resolution”, I make New Year’s “inspirations”. Some of them are universal, like losing weight, eating healthier, exercising more...etc. But, I have a few others on my list that I’ll invite you to do with me.
In 2012 I will:
1. …find the good. I will find the good in people, in situations, at work, in the news, and in myself. I will choose to focus on the good; and there is always good to be found.
2. …say only (or at least mostly) nice things. My grandma once told me that every word I said should be a gift to whomever I said it. I will work to accomplish that task. Of course, I’ll allow myself brief periods to vent to my hubby and a few close friends, but not too often.
3. …spend time with people I enjoy, who also enjoy me. I’ve been hanging on to some friendships that aren’t healthy and it’s time to let them go. I will spend time with happy people, people who like themselves, who inspire me, who like to laugh, and who let me be myself. Goodbye to negative friendships!
4. …be honest. I will be honest with myself about everything; including money, calories, sex, exercise, time commitments, and emotions.
5. …really experience what happens in my life. I only get to live once, so I want to soak it all up, the good and bad, the happy and sad; I will acknowledge it, feel it, learn from it, and own it!
I’m sure I’ll come up with a few other inspirations to add to the list, but I think I have a pretty good start. And, come Sunday, I’ll be ready to go. Right now though, I need to dish up some ice-cream – yum!
Margaret
Monday, December 19, 2011
The Magic of Christmas 2011
Once again, I find myself at the end of a blessed year. I can look back on 2011 and feel joy. I live a life that allows me to take so many things for granted. My children are healthy, my parents are well, and I have a stable job, a reliable car, and a home full of laughter. But still, sometimes I find myself just going through the motions of my life. My schedule is so packed with games and work and responsibilities that I don’t always appreciate the experiences it offers. That’s how Christmas has been this year. I put up my tree with half the lights not working and that's as far as I've gotten. I haven’t decorated at all. I just don't have the energy or the Spirit to do so. I think that happens to everyone sometimes.
But last weekend, I went to Kansas City to celebrate Christmas early with my family. I was completely stressed with all that needed to get done before I could leave. I was grumpy most of the morning and we piled into the car frustrated and late. We went to the nursing home first to pick up my dad, and my heart melted (as it always does) while walking down the corridors to his room. There are so many forgotten people in this world, and I was upset because I was late getting home to spend Christmas with my family. We weren't THAT late, and it ended up being a perfectly wonderful day.
It was perfect because we took time to enjoy each other. We smiled, hugged, laughed and joked. It was loud, crowded, and fun! It was the first time since we were little that all my siblings and all their families made it home for Christmas on the same day. Every descendent of Philip and Julie Hanson were present in their house at the same time. We took one of those big pictures with everyone squeezed together that many years from now will be old and tattered and worn, and no one will remember who we are. It was magical. And I know that it may or may not ever happen again.
Life is unpredictable. This year a dear friend was diagnosed with cancer. I watched another friend lose her child and another bury her mother. Sad things happen everyday, and I know at some point, those things will happen in my family; in all of our families. We only get to live once, and it’s our responsibility to live the best life possible. We can't control what happens to us, but what happens is life and it is precious. Time is precious too. It doesn't make sense to waste that time being angry or hurt or frustrated or anything but honest and genuine and faithful. This is your life, your time; make the most of it! Merry Christmas!
Margaret
But last weekend, I went to Kansas City to celebrate Christmas early with my family. I was completely stressed with all that needed to get done before I could leave. I was grumpy most of the morning and we piled into the car frustrated and late. We went to the nursing home first to pick up my dad, and my heart melted (as it always does) while walking down the corridors to his room. There are so many forgotten people in this world, and I was upset because I was late getting home to spend Christmas with my family. We weren't THAT late, and it ended up being a perfectly wonderful day.
It was perfect because we took time to enjoy each other. We smiled, hugged, laughed and joked. It was loud, crowded, and fun! It was the first time since we were little that all my siblings and all their families made it home for Christmas on the same day. Every descendent of Philip and Julie Hanson were present in their house at the same time. We took one of those big pictures with everyone squeezed together that many years from now will be old and tattered and worn, and no one will remember who we are. It was magical. And I know that it may or may not ever happen again.
Life is unpredictable. This year a dear friend was diagnosed with cancer. I watched another friend lose her child and another bury her mother. Sad things happen everyday, and I know at some point, those things will happen in my family; in all of our families. We only get to live once, and it’s our responsibility to live the best life possible. We can't control what happens to us, but what happens is life and it is precious. Time is precious too. It doesn't make sense to waste that time being angry or hurt or frustrated or anything but honest and genuine and faithful. This is your life, your time; make the most of it! Merry Christmas!
Margaret
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
To My Daughter on Her 18th Birthday
Dear Daughter,
Happy Birthday Sweetie! I have so many thoughts and emotions running through my mind right now that I’m not even sure where to begin writing. I could share a bunch of clichés with you; tell you how fast time flies, how much happens in the blink of an eye, how “just yesterday…”, but I’m not going to tell you that. I knew this day would come because I watched you get here. I watched you learn to crawl and walk and run and jump. I listened to you cry, scream, giggle, talk and sing. I watched you with your friends; the ones you liked and the ones you didn’t. I saw when you were hurt and happy and confused and mad and scared and frustrated and tired. I watched you grow and learn and believe. I stood by you when you made good decisions, and when you made bad ones too. I knew when you were lying. I helped you learn about consequences. I was there when you understood your homework, and when you didn’t. I sat on the bleachers for t-ball, softball, basketball, volleyball, cheer, dance, plays, banquets and parent meetings. I supported you always. I still do. I watched you fall and I watched you get back up; when you didn’t get back up, I pulled you. I talked with you about choices and feelings and decisions and life. I told you what you wanted to hear and what you didn’t. I told you what you needed to know and checked up to make sure you were listening. I taught you life’s lessons. I told you “yes” and “no” and “absolutely not!” I hugged you, trusted you, believed in you, and loved you unconditionally – and I always will. You are my child and I am your parent. I love who you were and who you are and I’m sure I’ll love who you will become.
I know that you’ll be fine, even wonderful, on your own. Remember to always trust your intuition. If something feels right, it’s probably right; if not, it’s probably not. Remember to believe in yourself; it’s better to try something crazy than to wish you had tried it once the chance has passed. Remember to be honest and genuine and tactful; learned skills that take practice. Remember that love is never enough; a good relationship of any kind involves trust, respect, and laughter too. Remember to exercise every day - yes, every day. Remember to choose happiness and smile, even when you don’t feel like it. And please remember to call your mother often; she’ll be thinking of you.
I didn’t tell you, but this afternoon I snuck down to your bedroom and sat for a while. I became a bit tearful thinking about today being the last birthday you’ll be home. Today was the last birthday morning I’d be able to sing to you in bed, or set out birthday surprises for you to wake up to. But, isn’t that the way it should be? We should become sad when something wonderful ends – but this end will bring new beginnings, at college, in your new apartment, starting your new job, meeting a new guy…etc. I can’t wait to share the rest of your life with you, as your friend. Happy birthday baby! I love you!
Mom
Happy Birthday Sweetie! I have so many thoughts and emotions running through my mind right now that I’m not even sure where to begin writing. I could share a bunch of clichés with you; tell you how fast time flies, how much happens in the blink of an eye, how “just yesterday…”, but I’m not going to tell you that. I knew this day would come because I watched you get here. I watched you learn to crawl and walk and run and jump. I listened to you cry, scream, giggle, talk and sing. I watched you with your friends; the ones you liked and the ones you didn’t. I saw when you were hurt and happy and confused and mad and scared and frustrated and tired. I watched you grow and learn and believe. I stood by you when you made good decisions, and when you made bad ones too. I knew when you were lying. I helped you learn about consequences. I was there when you understood your homework, and when you didn’t. I sat on the bleachers for t-ball, softball, basketball, volleyball, cheer, dance, plays, banquets and parent meetings. I supported you always. I still do. I watched you fall and I watched you get back up; when you didn’t get back up, I pulled you. I talked with you about choices and feelings and decisions and life. I told you what you wanted to hear and what you didn’t. I told you what you needed to know and checked up to make sure you were listening. I taught you life’s lessons. I told you “yes” and “no” and “absolutely not!” I hugged you, trusted you, believed in you, and loved you unconditionally – and I always will. You are my child and I am your parent. I love who you were and who you are and I’m sure I’ll love who you will become.
I know that you’ll be fine, even wonderful, on your own. Remember to always trust your intuition. If something feels right, it’s probably right; if not, it’s probably not. Remember to believe in yourself; it’s better to try something crazy than to wish you had tried it once the chance has passed. Remember to be honest and genuine and tactful; learned skills that take practice. Remember that love is never enough; a good relationship of any kind involves trust, respect, and laughter too. Remember to exercise every day - yes, every day. Remember to choose happiness and smile, even when you don’t feel like it. And please remember to call your mother often; she’ll be thinking of you.
I didn’t tell you, but this afternoon I snuck down to your bedroom and sat for a while. I became a bit tearful thinking about today being the last birthday you’ll be home. Today was the last birthday morning I’d be able to sing to you in bed, or set out birthday surprises for you to wake up to. But, isn’t that the way it should be? We should become sad when something wonderful ends – but this end will bring new beginnings, at college, in your new apartment, starting your new job, meeting a new guy…etc. I can’t wait to share the rest of your life with you, as your friend. Happy birthday baby! I love you!
Mom
Monday, September 26, 2011
Decide Already!
Life is simply a series of decisions. You wake up each morning, face your day, make choices as necessary, and then live with the outcome of those choices. Each decision affects the next to some extent, and one day at a time, one choice at a time, you build your life.
You start out with simple things like choosing a book to read, shoes to wear, or a snack to eat. You pick favorite colors and yummiest flavors. You decide who to invite, where to go, and what to buy. Eventually, you’re volleying study habits, college applications and future career options. Throw drinking, driving, dancing, dating, and dieting into the mix and you see where I’m going.
And, it’s really fun! At first it’s fun because it’s just you, and it’s pretty easy to be happy with the choices that affect only you. You decide how late to party, what to do the next day, what classes to take and what classes to skip. You decide where you want to eat and how much you want to spend. You buy your own clothes and groceries. You pick your first car and your first job. Then, maybe you meet someone and it’s still fun. You go on vacations, spend crazy amounts of time together, fall in love, make wedding plans, tell stories and decide your future. You have a baby, name her, love her, play with her, and imagine how boring your life would be without her. You have another baby, and make those decisions again, and again, and again. And it’s still fun.
But, now it’s also kind of hard too. Now your decisions aren’t just about you and your life. Now everyone’s watching and judging. It’s hard because your life is intertwined with other people’s lives. You’re bombarded with other’s interactions, other’s decisions, and other’s outcomes. You compare your life with those around you, and begin to second-guess whether you made the best decisions earlier in your life. Sometimes you might feel guilty about how your choices affect your family, your career, your friends, your income, your future…and so on. Each decision seems much more complicated, more important and more stressful. Um, it's not so fun.
As we get older, it becomes more important for us to be happy with the decisions we make. And it’s more difficult to be happy. I used to think I could just choose happiness, but I now know that it isn’t that simple. Happiness is a balance of choices, and if the balance is off, you just can’t quite be happy. You want to be happy, you think you should be happy, you try to be happy, but you can’t. And I think to get that balance you have to make decision-making fun again. It's true that your choices will still affect your family and your future, but if you can focus on what matters in your life, and decide what you want to do, who you want to be, and how you want to live; if you can block out the comparisons to other people's lives, you can be happy. It has to be a little bit about you!
Margaret
You start out with simple things like choosing a book to read, shoes to wear, or a snack to eat. You pick favorite colors and yummiest flavors. You decide who to invite, where to go, and what to buy. Eventually, you’re volleying study habits, college applications and future career options. Throw drinking, driving, dancing, dating, and dieting into the mix and you see where I’m going.
And, it’s really fun! At first it’s fun because it’s just you, and it’s pretty easy to be happy with the choices that affect only you. You decide how late to party, what to do the next day, what classes to take and what classes to skip. You decide where you want to eat and how much you want to spend. You buy your own clothes and groceries. You pick your first car and your first job. Then, maybe you meet someone and it’s still fun. You go on vacations, spend crazy amounts of time together, fall in love, make wedding plans, tell stories and decide your future. You have a baby, name her, love her, play with her, and imagine how boring your life would be without her. You have another baby, and make those decisions again, and again, and again. And it’s still fun.
But, now it’s also kind of hard too. Now your decisions aren’t just about you and your life. Now everyone’s watching and judging. It’s hard because your life is intertwined with other people’s lives. You’re bombarded with other’s interactions, other’s decisions, and other’s outcomes. You compare your life with those around you, and begin to second-guess whether you made the best decisions earlier in your life. Sometimes you might feel guilty about how your choices affect your family, your career, your friends, your income, your future…and so on. Each decision seems much more complicated, more important and more stressful. Um, it's not so fun.
As we get older, it becomes more important for us to be happy with the decisions we make. And it’s more difficult to be happy. I used to think I could just choose happiness, but I now know that it isn’t that simple. Happiness is a balance of choices, and if the balance is off, you just can’t quite be happy. You want to be happy, you think you should be happy, you try to be happy, but you can’t. And I think to get that balance you have to make decision-making fun again. It's true that your choices will still affect your family and your future, but if you can focus on what matters in your life, and decide what you want to do, who you want to be, and how you want to live; if you can block out the comparisons to other people's lives, you can be happy. It has to be a little bit about you!
Margaret
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
