We’re a group of friends forced on each other by schedules and circumstance. We migrate from fields to gyms to courts and back again, season after season. We huddle on bleachers, share blankets and snacks, and cheer each other on to victories in games and in life. We are the mothers of kids in sports.
It starts early with missing teeth and tee-ball. We celebrate by taking pictures, baking cookies, and telling stories. We trade advice, books, discipline strategies, and coupons. We plan play dates, compare babysitters and organize parties. We’re careful to include all the kids, so no feelings get hurt. We start out making small talk and end up writing novels; and inviting new friends to dinner.
The season changes...
It continues with growth spurts and basketball. We celebrate great passes, made free-throws, and soaring three-pointers. Occasionally we sign casts. There are new faces on the bleachers, new ideas, new energy, and new conversations. We learn about hobbies and passions and families. We vow to shop, do lunch, exercise, or meditate; some do, some never do, but we all meet back on the bleachers next game. We’re moms, we’re there.
The season changes and someone gets dropped, another joins a traveling team, and another looks for a different coach. We are separated by our kids; by choice and by chance.
It continues with try-outs. Some compare who made what team, who the coach likes best, who’s playing more minutes, who’s playing least. Feelings get hurt, for real and imagined reasons, and there is distance in the bleachers. Kids are judged, games are filmed, and uniforms are washed. Genuine hugs are replaced by polite waves and occasional rude comments. Whispering is everywhere. One kiddos success is over shadowed by another’s playing time. It’s a crazy, confusing place. Why can’t we honestly celebrate each others successes without comparisons? Any friend will support you when your life sucks – but real friends support you when your life is awesome!
The season changes. New friendships are formed by schedules and circumstance. We are mothers of kids in sports.
Margaret
Showing posts with label behavior and sports. Show all posts
Showing posts with label behavior and sports. Show all posts
Friday, February 24, 2012
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Sports Offended
Sometimes I wonder...Why are people allowed to scream rude comments at referees and umpires during sporting events? And equally perplexing, why don’t those of us sitting near these grumbling, complaining, loud, individuals do something about it? Do we secretly wish we had the guts to yell something out too? Are we impressed that the otherwise calm, quiet, friends and neighbors suddenly morph into crazy, unpredictable beings? Personally, I don’t think so. I think people behave as they are allowed to behave, and whether we like it or not, airing personal opinions and name-calling has become part of the culture of many sports. But, I think it’s a culture that can be changed, if enough people want it to change.
I’m a coach’s wife and the mother of four athletic kids. In support of my family, I have perched the bleachers to watch tee-ball, baseball, softball, basketball, soccer, volleyball, football, cheer, dance, cross country, track, and most recently, tennis. For those of you who frequent sporting events, I’m sure you’ve been privy to the outrageous, if not embarrassing behavior of many spectators. I remember a mother harassing a high school referee at my son’s tee ball game, and another parent giving my 12 year old daughter grief for almost 15 minutes over a questionable call as a line judge in a volleyball match. Come on, these are kids! At a recent basketball tournament, parents were given written conduct guidelines to be followed throughout the games. I was offended, somewhat, and taken back that this “reminder” was necessary. Obviously, it was. The problem is evident, now we have to figure out a solution.
What if a “No Negativity” campaign was initiated in gymnasiums and stadiums? Seriously, it could work. Yelling at games would be acceptable, but only positive and supportive statements would be allowed. Cheering on your favorite players and chanting with the crowd would be fine; yelling “you suck” would not be tolerated. Bouncers would simply escort offenders out of the gym when they yelled a negative comment. The program would need to be well organized and executed consistently, but I think it would be a huge step in the right direction for the world of competitive sports. I imagine large banners with the word NEGATIVITY having a big, red line drawn through it. I can see people wearing tee shirts boasting the fact that negativity isn’t present in their stadium. The atmosphere surrounding sports would lean toward respect, rather than rudeness. It would be a safe, fun place to bring the family. Just as negativity breeds negativity, positive energy is catching too.
I’ll admit, it sounds a little idealistic, but it would be a nice change. I’ve shared my opinion with others, some people love it, and others don’t. “It will never happen”; “people simply can’t control their impulses”; “Yelling is part of sports” are some of the comments I hear. But, I know, for a fact, that people will behave according to the expectations set for them. Take tennis, for example. Tennis is an etiquette sport and people keep their mouths shut. At my son’s match last week, right in front of me and about 6 others watching, a ball clearly bounced “in” and was called “out”. I glanced around to see who would make a comment, but no one said anything. No one stood up, no one grumbled, no one even whispered to themselves. The ball was “out” and that was that; it was a non-issue. The players continued the game, the losers didn’t blame the line judge for their loss, and I fell in love with tennis.
Could basketball, tee-ball, baseball, softball, soccer, volleyball, and football become etiquette sports? I think “yes", what do you think?
Margaret
I’m a coach’s wife and the mother of four athletic kids. In support of my family, I have perched the bleachers to watch tee-ball, baseball, softball, basketball, soccer, volleyball, football, cheer, dance, cross country, track, and most recently, tennis. For those of you who frequent sporting events, I’m sure you’ve been privy to the outrageous, if not embarrassing behavior of many spectators. I remember a mother harassing a high school referee at my son’s tee ball game, and another parent giving my 12 year old daughter grief for almost 15 minutes over a questionable call as a line judge in a volleyball match. Come on, these are kids! At a recent basketball tournament, parents were given written conduct guidelines to be followed throughout the games. I was offended, somewhat, and taken back that this “reminder” was necessary. Obviously, it was. The problem is evident, now we have to figure out a solution.
What if a “No Negativity” campaign was initiated in gymnasiums and stadiums? Seriously, it could work. Yelling at games would be acceptable, but only positive and supportive statements would be allowed. Cheering on your favorite players and chanting with the crowd would be fine; yelling “you suck” would not be tolerated. Bouncers would simply escort offenders out of the gym when they yelled a negative comment. The program would need to be well organized and executed consistently, but I think it would be a huge step in the right direction for the world of competitive sports. I imagine large banners with the word NEGATIVITY having a big, red line drawn through it. I can see people wearing tee shirts boasting the fact that negativity isn’t present in their stadium. The atmosphere surrounding sports would lean toward respect, rather than rudeness. It would be a safe, fun place to bring the family. Just as negativity breeds negativity, positive energy is catching too.
I’ll admit, it sounds a little idealistic, but it would be a nice change. I’ve shared my opinion with others, some people love it, and others don’t. “It will never happen”; “people simply can’t control their impulses”; “Yelling is part of sports” are some of the comments I hear. But, I know, for a fact, that people will behave according to the expectations set for them. Take tennis, for example. Tennis is an etiquette sport and people keep their mouths shut. At my son’s match last week, right in front of me and about 6 others watching, a ball clearly bounced “in” and was called “out”. I glanced around to see who would make a comment, but no one said anything. No one stood up, no one grumbled, no one even whispered to themselves. The ball was “out” and that was that; it was a non-issue. The players continued the game, the losers didn’t blame the line judge for their loss, and I fell in love with tennis.
Could basketball, tee-ball, baseball, softball, soccer, volleyball, and football become etiquette sports? I think “yes", what do you think?
Margaret
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