It Was...The Best Summer

Ok, so one crazy summer in college I decided to head to Cincinnati, OH to sell books door-to-door (yes, I’m totally serious!). I worked with a group from the Southwestern Company and sold The Volume Library and various other books to whomever happened to be home during the day. It was both the best and the worst summer of my life…but mostly, the best, I think.

When else would I ever be daring enough to head off to a new city, with a few strangers and one friend, to do something so random? There wasn’t much of a plan in place; I knocked on doors until I found a place to sleep, and then knocked on doors to sell books. I used the partial payments from my sales to finance my expenses. Seriously, I would never let my daughter do that today!

Here are my top 6 life lessons from Cincinnati:

1. People are good at heart. Strangers took care of me that summer. They fed me, they worried about me, and they made me lemonade.

2. Your brain believes what your mouth tells it. Negativity breeds negativity and the same is true for positivity.

3. Perspective is personal; own yours. Your perspective is your reality.

4. Effort is the difference between success and failure, talent helps, but effort matters (when I knocked on doors, I sold a lot of books, I had the knack, but I put my effort into meeting people, writing letters and having fun).

5. You constantly affect others, so be nice. I received a handmade blanket from a woman I met in Cincinnati right before my wedding day. Her husband sent it with a note explaining that she had worked hard to finish it for me, and that she insisted my picture be hung on her family wall, before she died. I had no idea I affected her that much.

6. The truth really matters to you. You can pretend to be whomever you want for other people, but you know the truth about yourself. Like your truth.

I can also tell you that Cincinnati has a fabulous zoo, the street vendors are hilarious, the stadium is very cool, and there are a few to-die-for shops downtown. I spent two evenings boating and swimming with some spontaneous new friends (against company rules), met a gang of boys that were very funny, flirted with some businessmen, took some funny pictures and got dumped by boyfriend (that’s another blog).

I think that summer was, mostly, the best summer.

Margaret

"Getting Ready" vs."Being Ready"

I’m in the middle of planning a big event. Ok, I say “middle”, but I really mean the second step after deciding to participate. So, I guess it’s really the beginning of the middle of planning a big event. And, I’m already feeling overwhelmed! I think that’s how it works. We make a decision to do something, say a little prayer, jump out of our box, and feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed is good, I think.

So, what am I planning? I’m planning to get off my butt, get into shape, squeeze into spandex (so help me…), and ride a bike for three days in the Rocky Mountains in support of my son. I’m part of The Gene Team, riding in The Courage Classic, July 23-25, in Colorado (I’ll share more about that in a later post). I already know it is the start of something big! And, I’m getting ready…

And that’s what has me thinking…will my “getting ready” ever turn into “being ready”? Will I really feel prepared to do something so drastically different from what I typically do? Because I can tell you that I am not (yet) a biker. I haven’t exercised regularly in over 20 years and I don’t even own a road bike (yet). Sometimes I think I’m just in a mid-life crisis and I’ll wake up one morning and not need to ride my bike for 59 miles every day for three days; yet other times, I feel dead-on that this is a true life calling that I have just uncovered. Either way, I’m committed. My Craigslist shopping has changed from “general”, “household”, “tickets”, and “furniture” to only “bikes”. I have learned a whole new language involving TREK, shimano, gear cogs, forks, clips, carbon, and much, much more. I’m changing my eating habits, increasing my push-up abilities, and researching vitamins. This adventure is “on”…and is completely out of my box!

I know I will be stronger and fuller and more accomplished come the end of July. I know it is an honor to participate in an event that literally will touch the lives of thousands of families, with my family being one of those directly affected. And, even with that, I am scared. I’m scared that I won’t be able to finish, that I won’t reach my goals, that I won’t be well-enough prepared. What step am I missing in my plan? What comes next? What will I do if…? I think fear is part of everything new, and it’s okay.

I don’t think anyone can be completely prepared to do something completely new. But, I also think that everyone should try it. I know there are trips that have been talked about, Shelters that are waiting to be built, business that need to be opened, ideas that are alive only in the minds of those who are planning them…but for anything to become real, we have to take action on those plans. What challenge do you wish to conquer? What thoughts you are thinking? What event will pull you out of your box and into your life? I want to know.

Margaret

New Year, New Ideas, New Perspectives

I’m in my house alone. I don’t really feel like doing anything, yet I have plenty to do (return items to the store, grocery shop for this week, prepare for work tomorrow, clean, laundry…). I’ve been quite lazy all morning, and would be happy to continue being lazy all day long. It’s the “calm” between the “storms”; the break between the holiday hustle and grind of school and work. And it’s nice.

It’s also the start of a New Year, the first days to begin doing things we’ve been thinking about doing, but just never actually started doing. I don’t really know why we wait for January to take action on things we want to do. I mean, every morning is a new start and a new opportunity to improve ourselves, to try out different ideas. But, January is good too.

And, I do have my list of new things I want to begin…some of them are private and personal; others are wild and crazy and deserve a public outing. For one, publicly stating a goal offers instant accountability and for big changes, sometimes that is needed. I’ve shared my decisions to be more patient and accepting, more open and honest with myself and others, and more focused on being a positive influence in previous posts, so today I’m taking a completely different perspective.

This year I want to focus on “giving back”, and have decided to start that venue in two ways. First and foremost, I will begin recycling (I know…it’s bad that I don’t already do that!). I used to recycle, and then stopped when I moved and I just haven’t set up a system again. I have no good excuse and am embarrassed to admit that I am wasteful, but that’s the point of this, right? So, any ideas are welcome.

Second, and this is a stretch for me, I am committing to a three day bike tour in the Rocky Mountains in July in support of The Children’s Hospital in Aurora, CO. Most of you know that I have a son with PKU (Phenylketonuria) and that we travel to Colorado twice a year to see his doctors and dieticians there. They have provided so much support for us over the years (professionally and personally) and we have never been in a position to “give back”. This year, I have decided to participate in the Courage Classic bike tour (July 23-25) with fundraising efforts going directly to the IMD (Inherited Metabolic Disease) clinic that serves my son. I have not yet set my fundraising goals, but I am definitely riding. So, support is welcomed here too…ideas, riding tips, donations, etc. I’m getting fitted for my bike tomorrow:).

It’s the start of a New Year; the start for new opportunities, new ideas, new beginnings. It’s a chance to re-think, decide, plan and accomplish things we’ve been thinking about doing. It’s a great time to step out of ourselves and into whom we want to become. We just have to decide who that person is; and then take action!

Margaret

Blessed to Have Choices

As I sit here warm and safe, full and lazy, healthy and blessed, I think of others who may not be so comfortable. At night, before I go to bed, I check in on my kids. I pull the sheets up around their sweet, sleeping faces, kiss their foreheads and offer a quick prayer of thanksgiving. My children sleep on clean sheets, dream under warm blankets, and are surrounded by love and laughter. I think about the kids who put themselves to bed each night, maybe with a full belly, maybe not; maybe safe and happy, maybe not; maybe sleeping comfortably; maybe not. I always feel a twinge of guilt. My blessings are right in front of me, but I tend to focus my energy on other things, and I allow those things to have control over me.

I complain about unimportant events and make big deals out of little issues. I feel slighted if I pay for a meal, but don’t enjoy it. I get impatient if my TV show gets interrupted. I use sarcasm with my family and friends. I stress over insurance, instead of feeling blessed to have it; I lull over important decisions, instead of feeling blessed to have choices; I wish to take back quick-spoken comments, instead of feeling blessed, knowing that I speak my truth.

So, I’m taking this holiday season to re-focus, to remember what is important to me; what really matters. I will work on patience and acceptance, on being honest with others and with myself, and on being a positive influence on the people I meet. My goal is to begin each day with a more positive, focused perspective. When I’m old and gray (no snickering here, I know I’m already gray), I want to feel peace, knowing that I enjoyed my life the best I could. I want to look back and be pleased with my place in this world. It often comes down to choices, and we control what we choose.

Margaret

Vacation Anyone?

As I was printing up my Christmas cards (that I’ll hopefully get sent out before the New Year), I noticed how happy my kid’s looked. And, I know it’s because they were on vacation when the pictures were taken. Not that they aren’t happy at home and at school and around town, but vacation happy is a different kind of happy. It’s an “I can sleep late and no one cares” kind of happy; it’s an “I don’t have to clean up my room or do laundry for a week” kind of happy; it’s a “take me to the beach” kind of happy, and it’s perfect!

I was happy too, on their vacation; however, I was not on vacation, I was on a trip.

You know how there is a fine line between a fast walk and a slow jog, or between black and navy? Well, that line doesn't exists between a vacation and a trip –they are completely different experiences!

On vacation, you can relax; you can soak up the environment and even forget what time it is. On vacation, you can choose what to do, and it’s perfectly acceptable. You can pamper yourself with visits to the spa, overpriced drinks, amazing show tickets, wine …um… not so much on a trip. On a trip, you are responsible for other people’s vacation. You are planning day trips, keeping time-lines, and driving in crazy traffic. You are packing snacks so you don't get stuck paying for overpriced Pringles; you are hosting hourly sunscreen rub-downs and counting heads at the beach, assuring that no one goes out too far. A trip is a fun adventure complete with compromise.

When I was 10, I remember driving from Kansas to California in an old station wagon named Sunshine. It was yellow, thus the name, and seven of us packed in for the adventure of a lifetime. Now, I don’t remember a lot from my early years, but I remember that vacation. I sat in the tiny space between the “back” (the forward facing middle seat) and the “back-back” (the backward facing, all-the-way-in-the-back seat). My sisters argued the whole way because they kept touching each other as they tried to sleep, and my brother’s feet stunk. We stopped on the side of the road to stretch and run and eat sandwiches from a cooler. We went pee behind trees or in nasty rest-stops. We only reserved one hotel room each night for all seven of us. My dad would check in, and then sneak a couple kids in after he had the keys – we weren’t flush with cash and a buck was a buck. We went to the ocean and saw the Grand Canyon and it was the best vacation ever!

But, the story is a little different told from my parent’s point of view…it was definitely a trip for them. They were the ones making the sandwiches and organizing the sleeping spots. They listened to all of us complain that we were hungry, thirsty, tired, uncomfortable, hot, bored…etc. They kept their patience pretty well as we sung the fiftieth verse of “100 Bottles of Pop on the Wall” and played the twentieth game of “Car Bingo”. It’s no wonder why they got us to the hotel pool about a nanosecond after we dropped our bags in the room; we’d play with each other and leave them alone for a few minutes…until we wanted them to “watch me dive mom!” They were ALWAYS with us.

One person’s trip is another person's vacation, and either way, they make for great stories and perfect memories. I can’t wait until next summer when we drive the kids to Utah and to visit some of the National Parks. It will be a grand vacation for the family, and a grand trip for me.

Margaret

Thanksgiving Weekend

Well, it’s Sunday evening and we're getting ready to go back to school and work in the morning. This Sunday evening is a little different from just any Sunday evening because this is the last day of my favorite holiday weekend. Oh, how I love Thanksgiving. I love it because I get to spend time with family, eat perfectly prepared dishes, and relish in desserts. I get to see my nieces and nephews who have left for college, play with the newest members of the family, and have wonderful conversations with everyone. And, I get to count my blessings.

On Thanksgiving Day, I really am able to stop and think about what matters to me. I can put pettiness aside and remember that life is precious and friends are few. I can enjoy the day-to-day moments that I usually take for granted. On Thanksgiving Day I smile when I realize the kids have been up playing video games all morning; and am thankful they have eyes to see and hands to work the controllers. I am patient when they argue; enjoying their clear, strong voices. I thank God for my children for I know many people who are not able to conceive. On Thanksgiving Day I grin when I see the paper scattered all over the table, knowing that I am able to read and comprehend. I smile as I sweep the floor, thankful to be able to squat and scoop; some people struggle with those movements. On Thanksgiving Day, I happily cook in my kitchen; I am blessed to have family with whom to enjoy the day. I remember to say “please” and “thank you”. I look forward to giggles and grins. I offer little prayers for simple things like favorite pictures, comfy jeans, long hugs, and funny comments. I appreciate my health, my home, and my hubby.

On Thanksgiving Day, I take nothing for granted. On this day, I am truly happy. I am content with who I am, what I have, and where I'm headed. It is a day for perspective, for clarity, and for thankfulness.

Then comes Christmas…that is a whole other story!

Margaret

Look, Copy, and Learn

I have honestly enjoyed watching my youngest daughter morph into a junior high student. She comes home daily with tales to tell and stories to recount. She speaks of other girls, funny teachers, grumpy moments, silly decisions, sport mishaps, school triumphs, sleepovers, and much, much more. Sometimes I grow impatient by her detailed account of every word, step, breath, and giggle, but I understand that I’m lucky to be “in the know” with what’s happening in her little world. Along with all the info, I also get my share of requests; requests for clothes, tickets, rides, and accessories… She wants to keep up with all her newfound friends in school.

She recently requested some new jeans, not because hers don’t fit, but because they aren’t in style. I questioned her about EXACTLY what she was wanting and she quickly said “Miss Me jeans”. She explained that they are expensive jeans that have embellished pockets and thick stitching, “but”, she added, “I’m sure we can get them on sale, or find something that looks similar”. We had a nice conversation about status and materialism. I was pleased to learn that my daughter did not expect me to spend $100 on a single pair of jeans, nor would she spend it if she were to use her own money. But, she knew what she wanted based on her friend’s choices.

And, that got me thinking…don’t we all “try-on” other personalities and follow other people’s leads to be able to determine our own courses of action? Don’t we have to copy what other people do to figure out if it “fits” us? I mean, how do you know you don’t like to run until you run? I’ve copied friends’ habits, I’ve shopped at "their" stores, tried out "their" laughs, and worn outfits similar to those in "their" closets. I’ve read their books, borrowed their phrases, claimed their recipes, and matched their nail polish (I do wear polish occasionally). Many of my decorating ideas have come from mimicking things I’ve seen in other people’s homes. Sometimes those copies become part of my person and sometimes they just don’t. I remember buying a gorgeous red dress for a holiday party because my friend (who worked elsewhere) bought one and LOVED it…well, I felt uncomfortable all night and never wore that dress again. I also remember buying pajama nighties because my friend beamed about how comfy they were. I ended up taking them all back because they just weren't "me" (I didn’t take back the one I slept in…just so you know). We all copy each other. We start at birth.

Well, I ended up getting my little one a couple great new pairs of jeans, and she is relishing in her new found sense of style!

Margaret